On Thursday, I blogged about Gray Davis’s non-apology for his “you shouldn’t be governor if you can’t pronounce the name of the state” non-joke, in which Gov. Davis proceeded to argue that Arnold Schwarzenegger should be the one to apologize, for supporting Prop 187 in 1994 and for opposing SB 60 now. I suggested that if Arnold owes anyone an apology, so do an overwhelming majority of all California voters, who agree with Arnold on both issues. Reader Scott posted this suggestion:

I think anyone who supported Prop 187 or opposes SB 60 should call, fax or email the Governor’s office an apology.

I like that idea, but I think I’m going to blog my apology rather than fax it. I certainly would not want to encourage anyone to FAX any similar apologies to Gumby’s office, whose fax number may or may not be (916) 445-4633. Nor would I encourage anyone to spam his email system with any electronic apologies, whether his email address happens to be governor@governor.ca.gov (lucky guess if it was). No, I think a blog entry is sufficient.

The HonorableJoe “Gray” Davis
Acting Governor
State Capitol Building
Sacramento, CA 95814

Dear Gumby:

I was deeply moved by your heartfelt apology to no one in particular, but definitely not to Arnold Schwarzenegger, over your recent statement that anyone who pronounces the name “California” the same way those damned Mexicans do has no business running for governor. I was even more moved by your suggestion that he, too should apologize, not for being ferrin’ per se, but for having voted, as a private citizen, for Proposition 187, which would have stripped illegal (oops, I meant, “undocumented”) aliens of most of the taxpayer-funded benefits they receive at the expense of those who are here legally. Most of all, however, I was touched by your recommendation that Arnold should also apologize for his current opposition to S.B. 60, which would grant driver licenses to illegal immigrants who do not need them in order to drive, but do need them to falsify their legal status or to obtain even those taxpayer funded benefits that were prohibited by law prior to Prop 187.

It has occured to me, however, that your request to Arnold does not go nearly far enough. After all, in 1994 Arnold voted not as a political figure, but as a private citizen, in favor of Prop 187. Thus, if he owes anyone an apology for that, so do the other 60% of the registered voters – legal or otherwise – who voted the same way. So too do the overwhelming majority of legal California residents, who think that issuing state IDs to people who aren’t supposed to be in this state is a bad idea. So on behalf of the overwhelming majority of California residents who are legally entitled to vote, I would like to apologize (though not to you personally, of course) for all of the following:

• While I did not personally reside in California in 1994, I probably would have voted for Prop 187 if I had been. I’m really sorry that I did not understand, then or now, the important contributions illegal aliens make to this country at the time. I’m even more sorry about the fact that I don’t really appreciate scofflaws today, either, and would vote for Prop 187 again if it ever resurfaced as an initiative. Most of all, though, I’m really, really sorry that I’m not the least bit bothered by Tom McClintock’s promise to revive the court challenges you sabotaged early in your first term, and am I wee bit miffed at Arnold for not promising to do the same.
• I apologize for the fact that I do not think the state ought to be issuing de facto proof of residency in a state where they are not supposed to reside. I’m really sorry about that, and I’m even more sorry for questioning your “public safety” argument given the fact California is already bound by treaty to honor driver licenses from Mexico, and given that SB 60 applies to State IDs, not just to driver licenses. I’m sure this was an honest oversight on the part of yourself and Mr. Cedillo. But I’m sorriest of all for agreeing with you when you vetoed more restrictive licensing systems twice in the past, citing national security problems which, apparently, you knew all along to be bogus. And since you yourself have never apologized for vetoing two licensing bills that had more safeguards than this one, I apologize on your behalf, as well.
• I’m really, really sorry that I don’t like the bill you signed into law a couple years back allowing illegal aliens – you know, the ones you PC types used to call “undocumented” until you signed into that law to “document” them – to obtain resident tuition at the University of California, the Cal State system, and local community colleges. I’m sorry for holding then, and continuing to hold now, that crazy, xenophobic notion that U.S. citizens who migrate legally from other states ought to be afforded at least as many benefits, if not more, than those who migrate illegally from other countries.
• Last but definitely not least, I’m sorry that you are about to join the millions of Californians who are currently out of work. I’m sorrier still that I don’t really feel all that bad about it. But as the Angry Clam might put it, I am crying on the inside. Really I am.

Insincerely,
Xrlq