More Dirt on Arnold
I have a confession to make. For the past seven weeks, I’ve been sitting on some stories I’ve heard from anonymous, uncorrobrated witnesses who have revealed even more wrongdoing by Arnold than has yet been revealed by the Drudge Report, the National Enquirer, the Los Angeles Times, the New York Times and the Weekly World News put together. I was planning on holding on to this information until after the election, but now I think it’s best that voters know the truth before the 80% of them who haven’t voted yet go to the polls on Wednesday Tuesday.
According to my sources, Arnold may or may not have done some or all of the following:
- Sassed back to his parents in 1961 and 1962.
- Lit a fart to amuse his friends in 1963.
- Got a C in high school English in 1964.
- Attended a Neo-Nazi rally in 1966. OK, so he went to disrupt the rally, not to participate in it. Details, schmetails.
- Masturbated repeatedly, and at least annually, from 1959 to 1986. It is widely believed, though not corroborated by witnesses, that he simultaneously lusted in his heart.
- Inspired an ’80s metal band to write songs about demons, damnation, murder, mob rule and lack of respect for parental authority.
- Pulled the old “Dutch Oven” trick on his wife Maria during their honeymoon in 1986.
- Fondled, and simulated sex with, a co-star on the movie set, even while the cameras were rolling, in 1990, four years after marrying another woman, to whom he remains married to this day.
- Uttered such abusive words as “fuck” and “asshole” out loud on the set in 1984 and 1990.
- Ridden a motorcycle without a helmet in 1984and 1991. This vile practice was outlawed later that same year.
- Repeatedly groped, sexually propositioned, and fathered multiple children thorugh a prominent TV news anchor.
- Had - and still has - a surname that offends the NAACP.
October 5th, 2003 at 5:02 am
X,
You’re losin’ it pal…… Honestly, you’ve got a winner here, take a breath. I could respond to this, start a debate, but why pick a fight? HE WINS! Enjoy. Let’s hope he can help you guys.
October 5th, 2003 at 12:25 pm
There’s more dirt.
October 6th, 2003 at 8:10 am
Even more Schwarzenegger stories
Just when you thought there couldn’t possibly be any more last-minute revelations about the Running Man, Xrlq (pronounced “Xrlq”) delivers the goods….
October 9th, 2003 at 7:51 pm
The Council Has Spoken
Here are the full tallies of all votes cast
October 10th, 2003 at 1:47 pm
The Hunting Of The Snark - Week 9
Welcome to the TGIF version of the Hunting of the Snark. What’s that, you say? The Hunt always begins on a Friday since, after all, its sole raison d’etre is to generate linkage and traffic for the Hunt Crew throughout the weekend. Well, true enough. B…