Hawaii
I’ve learned there are only two words of Hawaiian you need to get by here: aloha and mahalo. I’m told aloha means “hello,” but have it on good authority that it also means “goodbye,” “screw you,” “I’m an ethnic cliché,” and even “I’m the airline that didn’t lose your luggage somewhere between Los Angeles and Lihue.”
I haven’t yet gotten around to looking up the other word, mahalo, in the dictionary. I’m pretty sure, though, that the word means “asshole.” Here are a few examples I’ve seen on signs:
- Please remove your shoes before entering, mahalo.
- Smoking is not permitted in this restaurant, mahalo.
- Wash hands after visiting the toilet, mahalo.
Yesterday, a waiter called me a mahalo after taking my order. Was it something I said?
December 25th, 2003 at 2:19 pm
“Mahalo” means “thank you.”
December 25th, 2003 at 8:24 pm
When we first went to Hawaii, we had a similar interpretation. One of our favorites was, “Please don’t park in the red zone — you will be towed. Mahalo.”
We also noted that the trash cans in fast food restaurants say “mahalo” on the doors. We figured it had to be some linguistic cross between “garbage” and “f*** off”.
December 25th, 2003 at 11:32 pm
Pau is another word with multiple meanings. As long as they don’t look at you and say “da kine haole is pau” you’re ok ;)
Mele Kalikimaka! (Hope I spelled that correctly, it’s been a while now since I lived there).
December 26th, 2003 at 11:09 am
Xrlq -
If you manage to get this, there’s a fantastic stitchery store just north of Lihue (on the main road, just as it drops down hill and before it turns right (heading north)), called the Kapaa’a Stichery or some such… and they’ve got like 300+ fabrics there and they’ll make you a Hawaiian shirt out of any of them. I highly recommend it — the shirts aren’t cheap (probably $45-50 or so) but I’ve had my three for a couple of years and wear them all the time.
December 26th, 2003 at 11:20 pm
Hope you’re having fun there, mahalo.
December 27th, 2003 at 10:10 am
Keep talking like that and soon they’ll be telling you, “a hui huo!”
December 28th, 2003 at 10:12 am
Looks to me like it’s time for a new site slogan. Mahalo.
December 28th, 2003 at 10:15 pm
There are many meanings about “aloha” which can only be understood in unusual contexts. I was reviewing the other comments and realized that this perspective might be lacking.
Sometimes, you only find “aloha” when you are well and truly screwed. When my girlfriend caught a DCS hit off Maui and was medevac’d to Oahu, “aloha” got me out of the hotel without normal checkout, took care of the car I abandoned in the airport parking lot, and found me an available seat on a full interisland flight.
“Aloha” found volunteers at the hyperbaric chamber who would come to the hospital in the middle of the night to ride the chamber — at some personal risk — in case further emergencies developed. I found “aloha” in the hotel staff, who provided a ziggurat of pillows without complaint, and in a restaurant manager who helped when my GF started collapsing during a meal, and in countless others who helped along the way.
The state of Hawaii provided a big “aloha” by having the finest hyperbaric facility on the planet available for anyone who really needed it. My girlfriend and I have been impressed by the generosity of the people of Hawaii beyond any means of expression.
We still have doubts about “mahalo” though…
December 29th, 2003 at 12:41 pm
Heh.
You can’t imagine how funny this is to me. Or maybe you can. I just had to ask a group of malihini (visitors) to get the hell out of my yard where they were setting up camp to try their luck at fishing. “There’s a public beach next door. Feel free to fish from there,” I told them. Then I pointed to the Private Property signs plastered all over the trees lining my property. “Have a nice day. Mahalo.”
Yep. I meant asshole, too.
December 30th, 2003 at 7:52 pm
Submitted for Your Approval
First off…  any spambots reading this should immediately go here, here, here, and here.  Die spambots, die!  And now…  here are all the links submitted by members of the Watcher’s Council for this week’s vote. Council links:What Mak…
January 1st, 2004 at 8:07 pm
The Council Has Spoken!
First off…  any spambots reading this should immediately go here, here, here, and here.  Die spambots, die!  And now…  the winning entries in the Watcher’s Council vote for this week are What Makes Texas More Sacred to the US Than…
November 16th, 2004 at 11:46 pm
[...] ke we said, the guest room will always be ready when you are. To everyone else in Hawaii: Mahalo. Damn, I’m glad to be home.
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