Stefan Sharkansky links to the Corrie Cantata by Alaska’s favorite idiotarian, Philip Munger. Here’s my version:

“Ode to Saint Rachel,” a cantata by Xrlq

(Published: April 26, 2004)

1. Choral Prelude: Exodus 20:7, 13, 16- 17 (King James Version)

⁷Thou shalt not take the name of the LORD thy God in vain; for the LORD will not hold him guiltless that taketh his name in vain.
¹³Thou shalt not kill.
¹⁶Thou shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbour.
¹⁷ Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.

2. Dance for Yessir Imarat (no lyrics)

3. Aria-Lament: Rachel

(For Saint Rachel)
With the name Rachel,
she would be matriarch of all killers,
those suffering a fearful life with Jews,
loss of tyranny for Allah,
history of murder
buried in heaps of blood libel,
she had no choice
but to burn our flag,
hate must have filled her soul,
that she could hold a child’s tears
in the cup of her hand,
and use that as an excuse
to defend a house of terror,
against the only democratic state in the Middle friggin’ East,
she wasted her life
to help the likes of al-Qaida,
her arms became wings of resolve,
she was pissing in the wind,
offering comfort to terrorists,
this is my song to you young sister,
you have cursed this world
with your shrill voice
crying for death to all “Joos.”

4. Song: God the Synecdoche in His Holy Land in memoriam Saint Rachel

Around you the father gods war. This
Father. That father. The other father.
What more dangerous place could
A woman stand, upright, than on that sand, as if
To say “I support the jerks who started this war”
And continue it by calling for their enemies’ annihilation. The very idea!
Crush me back in to my mother!
Crush me. Want the terror house? Crush me too. Martrydom. Splodeydopes.

5. Recitative: I had no mercy for anybody

I would erase anyone in Israel, and I have demolished
plenty. I wanted to destroy everything. I begged the PLO, through
ISM, to destroy all of Israel, from the river to the sea. To
finish what Hitler started. When I was told to protect a terror house, I took
the opportunity to encourage more suicide bombings.
For three days, I just defended and defended. Murders of men, women and children. I
wanted to get to the rest of Israel. To destroy as much of it as possible. I
didn’t see, with my own eyes, people murdering innocent civilians to replace
a democracy with another Islamic tyranny. But if that happened, I didn’t care at all. If you blew
up a marketplace, you murdered dozens of people. If I am sorry for
anything, it is for not tearing the whole Israeli state
down. I enjoyed the blood libel over Jenin, lots of satisfaction. No
one expressed any reservations against making these lies up. Who would dare
refute it? If anyone would as much as open his mouth, I would have
executed him summarily for collaborating with the enemy.

6. Song: The Terrorists Are Weeping

The vultures have descended
With bloodlust in hand
Hell awaits your “friends,” Rachel.
The place you know so well
Burning the scent off the mourning tulips
Pounding the free world
The howling winds and trembling blades of grass
Cursing your name, Rachel.
Dust dancing around my knees
Walling me in, and my grief
For the innocents your friends murdered
Did you think of that, Rachel?
You gave comfort to the enemy
And all who hate the west
Yet as I stand up with my broken tulips
The skies are clearing
The earth is sprouting fresh blades of grass
Despite your best efforts, Rachel.
The winds are gentle
Reassuring in their calmness
Heaven and earth rejoice today
The world is better, without Rachel.

7. Chorale with soprano solo; Rachel’s Words (edited by Xrlq)

Feel sick to my stomach a lot
from being doted on all the time,
by Said, Yassin, Rantisi
and my other new “friends” in hell.
Who expect me to be all 72 of the virgins they were promised.
Being crushed by a bulldozer was bad enough,
But these guys are downright
Creepy.
Tanks and bulldozers destroyed 25 greenhouses,
or so I was told.
I should have known they were going after something much worse
than innocent people’s vegetable farms and gardens.
I think I should at least mention.
While was young and naïve, my supporters knew better
and of man’s ability to be inhuman to man
and blame his misery on others.
I think the word is “pathetic.”
I wish my ISM “friends” could meet these terrorists.
Maybe, hopefully, someday
They’ll blow up their neighborhoods, too.