SUV Advice Requested
Everyone in Orange County knows about Section 2-2-136.5 of the Orange County Municipal Code, which requires all residents to own a sports utility vehicle. Exceptions exist for women, gays and metrosexuals, who may satisfy this requirement by owning a mini-van instead. The only loophole I’ve had at my disposal is a two-year grace period, which will run out on June 24.
Thus, to avoid being kicked out of “the” O.C. less than a week before my 37th birthday, I need to buy an SUV The question is, which one. Perhaps you, the reader, can offer some insights. Key considerations:
- It shouldn’t look anything like a minivan. Anything that I can’t drive to the gun range without getting laughed and/or shot at is unacceptable.
- Looks aren’t enough. More important than looking cool, I want to be able to use the SUV as an SUV, at least on occasion.
- Nothwithstanding #1 and #2, Mrs. Xrlq will sometimes drive it, and when she does, she should get all the basic functionality of a mini-van.
- Price. Duh. If money were no object, I’d probably get an H1, or maybe settle for an H2. But money is an object, and both Hummers are out of my range. High 30s max, mid-20s, better.
- Low financing terms are good. Zero interest financing is better.
- If there are significant advantages to purchasing out of state, I don’t mind driving to Arizona or Nevada.
- If there are huge advantages to buying overseas, I’ll consider that option. But I’m not buying one of those weenie little cars they sell in Europe, and will not consider purchasing any vehicle with a sun roof that decapitates cats.
- I don’t give a flying [word John Kerry likes to use deleted] what country/planet the vehicle was manufactured in/on.
Thoughts?
UPDATE: Thanks to all who commented. I ended up with a Chevy Tahoe, with the optional Vortec 5300 V8 engine and a few other frivolous gizmos. It set me back about $32,000 before taxes, which was well below dealer invoice. Not bad for a model “starting” at $35,250. Did I mention the free financing?
May 1st, 2004 at 1:07 pm
For about $40k, you can get a Cayenne.
That would allow you to simultaneously be able to drive an SUV and brag about owning a Porsche.
May 1st, 2004 at 2:16 pm
More important than looking cool, I want to be able to use the SUV as an SUV, at least on occasion.
Answering this depends on how you mean “use it as an SUV.” Any 4×4 with decent ground clearance will work for most relatively tame off-road uses, but if you plan on going farther than that you’ll need either a dealer-option “off-road” package that includes a slight lift and larger tires (okay), or an aftermarket off-roading lift kit for more inches and even bigger tires (better). However, the rougher the off-roading you want to be ready for, the less suitable the thing will be for its normal mall-terrain use. And mud tires can make for some interesting vibration at certain freeway speeds.
Would a Ford Escape have enough interior capacity for your needs? Being the smallest of the Ford SUVs it should get better mileage, be easier to drive and park in mall-terrain mode, and slip more easily into those narrow backcountry trails when you need to go bury/dig up your guns. And of course GM has its own choices in that size range, if you like GM. Jeep has the Liberty, which has replaced the non-Grand version of the Cherokee. Almost any furrin automaker with an SUV line would also have its options. If it didn’t have to be brand new I could sell you our non-Grand
Jeep Cherokee for $2900 but you’d have to pick it up here and drive it back to California.
Of course, I consider the Cherokee to be just a compact statiojn wagon that happens to have 4WD, so Orange County may not accept it as a lawful SUV.
May 1st, 2004 at 5:47 pm
My parents really like their Acura MDX, but I am not sure if it has ever been used off-road. It has all the features of the BMW, etc. but is larger, cheaper and has SULEV certification (which *may* qualify you for free metered parking in the City of LA if you get a permit)
For off-road capacilities, the only maker that has a solid reputation is Jeep…but part of me thinks that is just marketing.
May 1st, 2004 at 7:07 pm
Honda has some great mini-vannish SUVs. The Honda Pilot is an Acura MDX with slightly less luxury.
But I wouldn’t want to take any Honda off-road.
Isuzu is trying to win some points with “value-priced” SUVs…
I guess I would say your best bet would probably be the Ford Explorer or a Dodge Durango for versatility and/or general coolness…
May 1st, 2004 at 10:06 pm
I’m a big fan of the Nissan Pathfinder, preferably in yellow.
May 2nd, 2004 at 6:09 pm
Hope you like the Tahoe.
Even though you still are, after all, driving a Chevy.
May 2nd, 2004 at 8:03 pm
Yeah, I know, those damned Chevys are nothing like
the GiMmiCk Yukon or the Denial.
May 2nd, 2004 at 10:24 pm
Ford is still the great American car company.
That said, I drive a Japanese car, and am looking to move up to an Italian car soon.
May 3rd, 2004 at 7:05 am
I suppose so, if one defines “greatness” in terms of how often a vehicle breaks down. Mrs. Xrlq’s Tempo was good for a migraine a week. I’ve heard mixed reviews about their more recent models. My neighbors have an Explorer, and they swear by it. However, they also told me that if they could have gotten a Tahoe for the same price, they would have. The sad part is that they actually paid more for the Explorer than I did for the Tahoe, even before the financing is taken into account.
The moral of the story is never make a major purchase when you need it. Instead, anticipate what you are going to need in the next year or two, and get when the gettin’s good. Right now, the gettin’s OK for Ford, but excellent for GM.
May 3rd, 2004 at 8:34 am
My next vehicle purchase, as indicated, will have nothing to do with “need.”
It’s all about getting the car before I wind up married and prohibited from driving anything other than a minivan. Pre-existing use, and all that.
May 3rd, 2004 at 10:56 am
In that case, you should get a cheap motorcycle before you marry, and ride it often enough to claim pre-existing use. Then drop a hint that you’ll never give up riding completely, but you might ride less often if you had a (whatever you want) to drive instead.
Why a cheap motorcycle, you ask? Simple. For one thing, maybe you don’t really want to ride for riding’s sake. If the motorcycle is just currency, spend as little as possible to obtain it. If anything, a cheaper, less reliable bike will scare her more. For another, even if you do want to ride long term, chances are that the dream bike of four years from now is out of your price range today. As long as you are riding something, getting the missus to agree to a swap is easy, since the risk factor is the same or even slightly lower. Maybe the new bike is prettier. Maybe it rides more smoothly. Maybe it has a bigger seat for her to ride in back. At a minimum, it’s probably more reliable. As long as you can find one good thing to say about the new bike other than “this new one goes faster than my old bike,” you’re in business.
If she tries to make you drive a minivan, the answer is either “no,” “no!” or “hell no.” All women nag, but it’s up to the man to set boundaries as to what he can and cannot be nagged about. Nagging you into driving the sports car, truck or SUV you already wanted is acceptable. Nagging you into a mini-van, however, is over the line. Let her get away with that now, and sooner than you know she’ll be asking you to get rid of your gun collection, vote Metropublican, own a French poodle, and do all other sorts of horrible, horrible things. You have to nip this one in the bud.
May 3rd, 2004 at 12:10 pm
Payments on the Maserati would be under $2,000 a month. (full value of the car in principle, 60 month loan, 5% interest based on the quote my credit union gave me when I asked.)
That, plus living and student loans and my otherwise cheapskate lifestyle would allow me to survive on around $65,000 a year or so.
That means that I’ll have to wait until I’m doing clerking, assuming I get one of those jobs. That, and it assumes my inner asshole wins out over my inner cheapskate, which would much rather spend just as much on a mortgage payment and deduct all the interest and otherwise starve the federal government. If the cheapskate wins, I’ll be driving my current car for another 10 years, most likely.
May 3rd, 2004 at 3:06 pm
I don’t give a flying [word John Kerry likes to use deleted] what country/planet the vehicle was manufactured in/on.
What is this expression, “I don’t give a flying Vietnam”? I’ve never heard it before. :-)
May 3rd, 2004 at 3:42 pm
I bet a car from Vietnam would suck.
May 3rd, 2004 at 6:26 pm
Gee, Clam, I dunno.
May 4th, 2004 at 6:21 am
Well, I’m sorry I’m late, but enjoy the Tahoe. A very nice ride.
May 4th, 2004 at 3:49 pm
Perhaps an M-class Mercedes? They’re not horribly expensive (as such things go) new, and are even cheaper used. They’re comfortable, pretty capable, and “minivanish” enough for the Mrs.
If you need more gung-ho, find a grey-market 280GE (the older, cheaper, more military/safari version of the current G-class, which is ridiculously expensive, even if it’s also the base for the Interim Fast Attack Vehicle)… EBay has them from time to time.
May 4th, 2004 at 3:50 pm
Ah, I see I was too slow. Nevermind. Nyah.