It’s official. Right now, the only two baseball teams I’ve ever cared about, the Dodgers and the Angels, are both in first place in their respective divisions, so we know they’re going to the playoffs. Further, Anaheim’s record of 20 wins and 10 losses makes them the best team in baseball. Therefore, I’m certain they will not only win the American League West division championship, but they’ll also go on to win the playoffs and the World Series, as well. The National League pennant is a bit harder to predict. Right now, the Astros’ 19-10 record has them edging out ahead of the Dodgers for the moment. No big whoop; that’s just because Houston has played one more game than L.A. has. Each team plays the same total number of games over the season, so that will balance out in the end. So for all intents and purposes, the Dodgers and Astros are tied for the National League pennant. Both will win their respective divisions; it’s just a question of which one of them will end up on top in the playoffs and go on to lose to the Angels.

I’m rooting for the Dodgers to win that distinction. For one thing, they’re long overdue for a pennant. For another, a “freeway” series would be just like the F.A.R.T. series in the Bay Area (preferably without the earthquake) or the more recent sub-standard subway series in New York. Unlike New York and the Bay Area, there actually are freeways that can get you from one stadium to the other. Mapquest says you can make the trip in 35 minutes. Rotsa ruck.

Like I said, it’s absolutely clear that my Angels are going to go all the way, just like they did in 2002. It’s only a question of who they’ll beat in the World Series. Our cat, Angel (whose cap is years out of date), will surely agree:

Ridiculous, you say? Of course. No more so, however, than any of the myriad articles and blog entries I’ve found that are practically calling the November election for Bush.

UPDATE: Now it’s official for the Dodgers, too. Gridlock Series fer sher. In the fine tradition of Talk Left (or, as it’s known among non-lefties, “Don’t Talk”), I’m shutting down comments now.