Since bragging about abortions is now in vogue, be sure to submit your best abortion stories to Patricia Beinanto’s shameless site. The more shocking and outrageous, the better. Male writers with unambiguously masculine names should consider using pseudonyms.

For years, Santa Clara County Superior Court Judge William Danser routinely dismissed traffic tickets of celebrities. Now, that bastard’s going to jail, under house arrest, and the celebrities he helped are facing criminal investigations far more serious than the ones he dismissed.

UPDATE: Apparently, according to two commenters he may NOT be going to jail. Too bad. At least he won’t be a judge anymore.

LATE UPDATE (10/19/04): Reader Hugh McManus reports that Danser has had another brush with the law, this time for DUI, where the cops drove him home rather than press charges. Nice. Maybe he is above the law, after all.

The Ass. Press reports that the nation’s first trial over punch ballots since the 2000 election has just begun in Ohio. OK, OK, maybe not the first overall, just the first such trial since the last one. Just ask California Governor Joe “Gray” Davis.

Screenshot below, in case the Ass. Press surprises me and fixes their boner.

UPDATE: No such surprises yet. Seeing the same moron story reprinted in today’s Orange County Register however, does surprise me, as does finding a longer version in today’s Frisco Chronicle, and which alleges the following:

The trial, brought by the ACLU and expected to last a week, is the first of its kind in the nation, voting experts say. Lawsuits filed against several other states have been settled with agreements that punch-card ballots will be replaced.

Apparently, the imaginary Experts™ Connie Mabin consulted prior to writing this story have never heard of California, where a substantively identical challenge prevailed last fall before a unanimous three-”judge” panel of the Ninth Circuit, only to be swatted down by the same circuit en banc. Or perhaps Ms. Mabin does not consider California or the Ninth Circuit to be part of “this nation.” That would be an understandable mistake from her perspective, if not from the Chronicle’s or the Register’s.

UPDATE x2: The Sacramento Bee also reproduces Ms. Mabin’s journalistic malpractice with a version of the story that was last updated at 9:59 a.m. PDT, almost fourteen hours after the original version of the story broke. I guess nobody fact-checks the Ass. Press anymore. Meanwhile, the Dog Trainer, for all its faults, has at least had the good sense to leave this story alone.

(more…)

Oh no, they’re not “pro-abortion.” No one is, not even Amy “I’d rather kill two kids than shop at Costco” Richards. They’re just pro-choice. So friggin’ pro are they about this choice, that they’re willing to pay good money to brag about the choice they’ve made (h/t: Patrick Prescott), assuming that choice was to abort. For some reason, the shirts for everyone else that read “I didn’t have an abortion” are permanently out of stock, but I’m sure this was just an oversight. Surely Planned Parenthood they wouldn’t intentionally favor the choice to abort over the choice not to abort. They’re pro-choice, not pro-abortion, right?

Some people shouldn’t be trusted with a child or a choice.

UPDATE: Allah offers a bit more variety (h/t: Patterico) than Planned Parenthood does.

UPDATE x2: Annika has another contribution.

UPDATE x3: John Kalb thinks I’m missing the point, and that critics of casual abortions should fight fire with fire by personalizing their anti- abortion views with shirts stating “I was an unwanted pregnancy.” I disagree. Just because one side of the debate relies on the “I did X, therefore X must be morally acceptable” non sequitur, that does not mean that both sides should. Rather, I think we should respond with T-shirts lampooning that mentality, such as those Allah and Annika have provided. Better yet, why not come up with a whole line of T-shirts admitting to various and sundry acts that most people find disgusting, albeit lawful? Examples:

1. “I had a yeast infection.”
2. “I farted out loud in public.”
3. “I can belch the alphabet.”
4. “I jerked ten minutes ago.”
5. “I just picked my nose. Wanna shake my hand?”

The list goes on. And on, and on.

Meanwhile, Susan “Medea” Benjamin, the Frisco sweetheart who named herself after fictional child-murderer, compares the Democrat Party’s security to Nazi concentration camps (h/t: Michelle Malkin).

Spoons catches the Clinton News Network with a whopper.

Don’t look now (or do), but I’m actually defending the Denver Post against charges of liberal bias and “constitutional illiteracy” regarding the constitutional-but-stupid Marriage Protection Act.

I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume that a significant percentage of my readers care as little as I do for Ana Marie “Heh, heh, she said…” Cox, who is also known as the Wonkette. If you read her site on a regular basis, then you already know what I’m about to say, and need read no further. If you don’t, this post will inform you that Ms. Wonk has recently left Wonkville for Boston, raising the average IQ of both cities. While she’s away, the now-inaptly named Wonkette web site will in fact be a Wonkette-free zone, with fellow Bearflagger BoiFromTroy holding down the fort. You may actually want to read that site, for once. Check it out.

Le conseil a voté. Toutes mes félicitations aux gendarme plus intelligent pour l’ècriture gagnante entre les membres du conseil, “Le traitement medical infernal du gouvernment” et à Capitain Ed pour l’ècriture gagnante dehors du conseil, “La dame grise dèbite une histoire en faveur de Kerry et Berger.”

So says non-reader Boris Kupershmidt. Funny, didn’t see that one coming. Too much boring, esoteric crap I could see, but fluff? Nah, not buying it. What say you? ["You," meaning, you non-trolls. I couldn't give a flying f*** what or if the trolls think.]