Look, I’m as big a supporter of topless women on beaches as the next guy, but this is just nuts. Like Michael Newdow, the ACLU, Liberty Counsel, and many other crusaders, Johnsson’s biggest flaw appears to be her own perception that if she feels strongly about something, it must mean she is right:
“I’m not a troublemaker. It’s just sometimes I know I’m right,” said Johnsson, 42, who won’t say whether she wants to bare her breasts but believes she should have the right to do so.
“I have a desire to be equal to men,” she said. “The Constitution tells me that everybody is created equal. Unfortunately, I read that part.”
In fact, nothing in the Constitution says anything close to that, so if she really “read that part” it must have been in the context of a dream or a bad acid trip. She may thinking of that other holy document, the Declaration of Indepedence, which the legally cluless often confuse with the Constitution. The Declaration of Independence does say that all men are created equal, but it says nothing about women, who were not even guaranteed the right to vote until almost a century and a half later. More importantly, perhaps, no one can sue under the Declaration of Independence, which provides only one remedy for an alleged violation of its self-evident truths: armed revolution.
Given her confusion over the basic legal documents of this country, you’re probably thinking “where on earth does a ditz like this get her law degree? Sears, Roebuck?!” Not quite:
“I don’t like being told that I can’t do something,” said Johnsson, who earned her law degree in 1990 from UC Berkeley. “
That giant sucking sound you just heard was the value of my J.D. from that same institution.
Johnsson said she would prefer to live her life outside the spotlight. She also offered The Times a really good deal on a famous bridge in Brooklyn if we believed that.
OK, OK. The first sentence was in the article, though, and the second should have been. Every cloud does, however, have a silver lining. Like most defense lawyers, Johnsson has a soft spot in her heart for vicious murderers, especially those who commit their murders under special circumstances qualifying for the death penalty. Yet, unlike most of her brethren and sistren in the hardened criminal lobby, she cares just a teeny bit less about the death penalty than she does about boobies:
But absent someone else stepping up, she said she was willing to push as hard as necessary to ensure women were equal to men on paper and in practice.
“I would gladly yield the lead to somebody else, somebody who wants the publicity or their five minutes of fame,” Johnsson said. “Then I can make my father’s dream come true and get rid of the death penalty.”
Nice to see her priorities are in order.