Just in case you thought there really were any things that rats, lawyers or Ted Rall won’t do (when he isn’t busy playing a lawyer on TV), get a load of this gem:

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Following the lead of my friend Captain Ed, I’ve composed an open letter of my own to the two individuals most responsible for the de facto repeal of the First Amendment. Rather than send it immediately, I’m planning to wait a day or two to digest the issue further, read any feedback I receive here, and send a newer, better version to all 100 Senators early next week.

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I’d like to tell you what I think about this, but I can’t because political blogging is now illegal. Others may flout this important law but not me, oh no, no way, uh-uh. From now on, damnum absque injuria is no longer about politics. Time to stop talking about things that divide this once great nation into red states, blue states, states whose electorates‘ brains are so badly fried by the Arizona sun that they actually thought it might be a good idea to elect and re-elect John McCain as a Senator, and what-not. Let’s just think happy thoughts instead. From now on, nothing on this blog except baseball, furry animals, warm sunny days and red roses, and when I’m feeling a little adventerous, maybe even a little rock music. Discussions about law will be decided on a case by case basis, but as a general rule, arcane laws that bore the hell out of first year law students are acceptable, while discussions about laws affecting hot-button issues you might actually vote on are not. Guns are still a legal topic of discussion for the time being, provided all discussion is confined to the characteristics of the gun itself, and not any laws that might affect one’s ability to own such weapon, discharge it, carry it openly or concealed, or think about it for more than thirty seconds at a time.

So relax and enjoy the new, politics-free damnum absque injuria. Rest assured that John McCain, George Bush and the Supreme “Court“ all know what’s best for you. Just think happy thoughts.^* Everything is gonna be all right. Promise.

^*Notwithstanding the foregoing, negative thoughts may be lawfully expressed regarding (1) weather, (2) gravity, (3) direction of earth’s rotation or (4) such other topics as, in the learned opinions of at least 5 Politburo Supreme Court members, are unlikely to materially affect the outcome of any election anywhere in the United States or its territories, possessions or countries it invaded just to get its hands on its or its neighbors’ oil. Happy thoughts subject to change without notice. This offer is void where prohibited by unconstitutional statute law.