Comments on: Derb!

By: triticale

triticale — Thu, 30 Jun 2005 00:21:43 +0000

Translation error. The 3rd actually says “Thou shalt not take the Lord’s name in vein.” Mainlining Jesus, as suggested in a song by a brief Chicago country rock band called Wilderness Road, would thus be a sin.

By: Paul

Paul — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 20:01:02 +0000

One idle Sunday after visiting the coven, I killed Dad and then framed my neighbor hoping to move in with his wife in their palatial home after he gets sent up.

By: Mike

Mike — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 16:30:25 +0000

It’s called a mnemonic – a memory aid…..

“damn” suggests #3, which you’re supposed to know in its standard form; same for the others.

By: Les Jones

Les Jones — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 15:15:33 +0000

“The Fourth Commandment requires believers to keep the seventh day holy. This crime takes place on the first day.”

For Jews and Seventh-Day Adventists it does. Most Christian denominations regard Sunday as the Sabbath. Though I think both of us may be making an error in regarding the seven days of creation as perfectly homologous to the days of the week.

By: Will Buczek

Will Buczek — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 13:47:16 +0000

So does the breaking them in one go count as extra credit? Doing so does, technically, lump them together as well. I think you’d probably end up with the same length either way. Getting it shortened is not an easy task, but certainly interesting to try (if you’ve got a lot of spare time).

By: Xrlq

Xrlq — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 04:39:14 +0000

You may be right; I interpreted it as being intended to lump 10 violations into one. I still don’t see what “damn” does, though.

By: Joel B.

Joel B. — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 03:54:10 +0000

I’m confused, I didn’t think Derb was trying to break all 10 commandments, just use a sentence to help remind him of all ten commandments. (It’s possible he edited his post).

If we were looking for the shortest sentance in which all 10 commandments were broken, I could probably come up with something, but it’d be disturbing, so I’ll leave it be.

By: Will Buczek

Will Buczek — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 00:31:27 +0000

Oh, how I shame my parents by worshiping the life-size Billy Idol poster which I bought with stolen money from the neighbor whose wife I am seeing in an affair; Christ knows I tried working seven days a week to legitimately earn enough to buy that coveted treasure from him, but it ended up being so much easier to simply murder a rich man, rob him of his money and valuables, and blame a local transient.

I acknowledge that the semicolon might be a bit of a stretch…and by stretch, of course, I mean grammatically incorrect. I did try to tie it together, though.

By: tgirsch

tgirsch — Tue, 28 Jun 2005 00:03:09 +0000

You can’t alienate the Catholic vote like that and expect to win elections! You should add a footnote indicating that those are Commandments two, three, four, and eight, respectively, for the Catholics in your readership. :)

Anyway, it would be awfully difficult to break all the commandments at once.

“Yahweh be cursed, Ba’al be praised!” he shouted as he carved an image of Spongebob Squarepants into the lifeless chest of his father, from whom he had just stolen the ox, wife, and slave following the service.

Let’s see, I got (protestant) #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7 (sort of), #8, and #10. I couldn’t work #9 in, although I suppose if he falsely accused his father of a capital crime, then he would have in effect broken #9 and #10. Protestant Commandment #2 not applicable to Catholics.