There’ll probably be light posting today and tomorrow on account of my planning on getting drunk.

Tonight, as I’m sipping rumnog and violently shaking the unopened boxes stationed under the Christmas Tree, wondering what exactly is rattling inside of them, I’ll be thinking about our good friend Xrlq and his happy clan. Hopefully they have arrived safely in the Bahamas, where tomorrow’s high is 82 degrees. (Of course the high here in Los Angeles will be 83 degrees, but I digress.)

And now, as my Christmas present to Xrlq’s readers, I have prepared a lesson in some multiculti diversimication for all you “Merry Christmas” wishing, closed-minded, Lord worshipers in a little blogpost I like to call,

• Kwanzaa, sometimes referred to as Kwanzicaa or “the week between Christmas and New Years”, is an ancient celebration dating back to the old times — around 1966, when one Dr. Maulana Karenga came up with it.
• Dr. Maulana Karenga, also known by his birthname, “Ron”, is a convicted felon and avowed communist. (Unfortunately he is also a graduate of the University of Southern California.) YOUR God may be GOD; Karenga’s god is Karl Marx (who, like Jesus, is white.).
• Kwanzicaa is only for displaced Africans, the white man need not apply.
• Kwanzicaa coincidentally begins the day after Christmas, and coincidentally ends on New Years day.
• An important Kwanzicaa symbol is a candle-holder, which is called a Kinara. This instrument is totally different than the Jews’ Menorah, which is also coincidentally a candle-holder. **
• Kwanzicaa’s official colors are red, green, and black, which only appear similar to Christmas’ colors, which are red and green.
• Kwanzicaa celebrations require that an ear of corn be procured for each child in the family. But, do not — NOT! — place said ears of corn in a cornucopia, because cornucopias are for whitey. Instead they should be placed on a straw mat, preferably bearing an African print of some sort. Also, if your household does not have any children, you should get an ear of corn anyway, because corn tastes really good.

For more information about Kwanzicaa, visit your local library! (or go here)

** FYI: The Menorah holds nine candles. (Thanks Steve!)