Like a Nazi, Only Without the Nazi Part
Go ahead, take the quiz. You know you want to. Then read Dafydd’s explanation of Crawford’s quiz isn’t worth the ones and zeroes its written on. Here are a few key Hitler quotes that Crawford forgot to include on his quiz (assuming, of course, that Hitler really did speak English, as Crawford seems to think he did):
- Damn, these freeways are hella-lame. Let’s build an autobahn!
- Uh-huh.
- Not as such.
- I’d like two scoops of vanilla ice-cream, please.
- Hey, this is really good beer!
- Scheisse, I haff sauerkraut on my Lederhose.
- Please put out that cigarette. I know the U.S.-American surgeon general hasn’t made any formal pronouncements about the health risks of smoking yet, but trust me, drawing all that filthy smoke into your lungs can’t possibly be good for you.
- This year will go down in history! For the first time, a civilized nation has full gun registration! Our streets will be safer, our police more efficient, and the world will follow our lead into the future! Hey, listen up guys, this is important stuff. You, from the Frankfurter Allgemeine, pay friggin’ attention. Are you even taking notes? And that goes for the rest of you, except that one guy in the front from the Berliner Tageblatt. I’m glad you’re paying attention, at least, but I hope you don’t mind me asking WTF your boss was thinking when he sent a reporter from the Arts and Culture page to cover this speech no one else wants to report on at all. And what the hell kind of first name is “Einleitung,” anyway? Does your mama even speak German, or did she thumb through the dictionary and land on whatever sounded ‘German’ to her? Jeebus.
June 23rd, 2006 at 4:04 pm
#1, #7 and #8, Hitler. #5, definitely not Hitler. He was a non-smoker, teetotaler and strict vegetarian. I’ve seen pictures of Ann Coulter seating with her boyfriend who was smoking a cigar probably bigger … never mind.
#6, it could be me, I love sauerkraut although I do not own Lederhosen. Who’s to say Ann Coulter doesn’t? #2, #3 and #4 could be any member of my family although it’s a very rare ocassion that I ever want dessert.
June 23rd, 2006 at 4:25 pm
This is the first I’ve heard of Hitler being a teetotaler. Oh well, I’m sure plenty of other Nazis drank beer.
June 23rd, 2006 at 8:17 pm
Oh, yeah. The Puritans would have loved him. Completely faithful to Eva Braun, too. Wounded war hero, twice decorated with the Iron Cross, First and Second class. Kind of scary actually. There’s a joke that has him running for President against Roosevelt and Churchill and, as far as their several personal lives go, he beats them hands down.
June 23rd, 2006 at 9:30 pm
Ok, a little internet research shows teetotaler may be apocryphal. He may have drunk the occasional beer, but that’s about all that is for him drinking. Mythology even for bad guys … .
June 24th, 2006 at 12:37 am
Puritans? He fell in love with his niece and moved her and her mother into his house. Then his abusive, controlling ways drove the girl to suicide.
June 24th, 2006 at 1:00 am
Yeah, I knew that. What’s un-Puritan about men’s controlling, abusive ways that drive girls to suicide? They burned some girls for some insane reason too, if I remember my Arthur Miller correctly.
June 24th, 2006 at 6:51 am
More the illicit relations with the niece, I was thinking.
June 24th, 2006 at 8:03 am
And if I recall *my* Arthur Miller correctly, it was the girls who started the trouble in the first place.
June 24th, 2006 at 8:57 am
I am not going to defend either the Puritans or Schicklgruber. I concede the debate.
June 26th, 2006 at 5:09 pm
I got 14 out of 14. It’s really not that hard.