The Doucheosphere Strikes Back
In case you’re wondering, the answer is no, apart from a backhanded whine about “juvenile name-calling,” the Grand Master Douche has not personally responded to any of the plethora of deceits I exposed over the weekend. And why should he? He’s got plenty of mini-douches - “Greendouchies,” if you will - champing at the bit to do his bidding for him. Never fear, I’ve read the Greendouchies’ comments so you don’t have to. Here they are, in a nutshell (one nutshell per Greendouchie, that is; there’s no telling what kind of hanky panky might could goin’ on if two or more Greendouchies were trapped alone in a nutshell together without adult supervision). I promise to be at least as fair to the Greendouchies (aren’t they cute?) as Sadly, No! has been to the “Anti-Greenwald Irregulars” they’ve quoted to date. Is that the same thing as being fair generally? Sadly, … well, you get the drift.
Anyway, without further ado, here’s what the Greendouchies have to say in defense of their dear leader:
- Sadly, No!: OK, so maybe we can’t refute anything you said on the merits, but we can bugger up a summary of what you said and call you a poopyhead. So take that, you poopyhead!
- Ryan “I Don’t Even Have a Blog But I Could Totally Get More Traffic Than You If I Did” Douchewald: OK, so maybe Glenn is a lying liar, but so what? He gets way more traffic than you and Dan Riehl do, so how can he possibly be a douche, you douche? [See update.]
- Jeff F*cke: Yeah, and he’s sold a lot of books, too. Anybody who sells a lot of books can’t possibly be a douche, you douche.
- Mark: I’m rubber, you’re glue.
- TGirsch: It wasn’t a pack of lies, it was all … hyperbole. Yeah, that’s what it was. Hyperbole, of course. Just ‘cuz the guy wouldn’t know someone else’s hyperbole if it bit him on the ass, that doesn’t mean he can’t use it himself every now and then.
- Doug: Yeah, that’s it, hyperbole. I’ll bet that’s what Deb Frisch was using, too. Why didn’t I think of that?
- Word Warrior: Heh, heh. He said cockula, heh, heh.
- Tim Lambert: Greenwald, Schmeenwald. We all know this is really about John Lott. Isn’t everything?
- D. Sidhe: No, no, Sillybuns, it’s about big gay marriage! Isn’t everything?
UPDATE: More doucherie:
- Mona: This fisking doesn’t count ‘cuz you called him a douche, you douche.
- Poor Man: Douche, douche, douche, douche douch douche douche! Douchety-douche, da-douche.
- Ilyka: Greenwald’s not a douche, you just hate him because he’s so … civil. Yeah, that’s the ticket.
- More Ilyka: I didn’t bother reading any of the stuff you documented, so don’t pretend it’s there.
UPDATE: Did I say “Ryan” doesn’t have a blog? Of course he does. What was I thinking?
July 17th, 2006 at 9:09 pm
[...] Xrlq has a summary of the reaction of the “doucheosphere” to his recent post, which exposed serial dishonesty by a blogger commonly compared to a female hygiene product. Like last time, please take your comments to Xrlq’s. [...]
July 17th, 2006 at 10:03 pm
It appears the head hygiene product linked a Sadly, Penis-Obsessed! post. I went to see whether he was relying on key researcher “Retardo” for evidence, as usual. But, Sadly, I couldn’t access the Sadly, Penis-Obsessed! web site. They must be having some down time. I of course condemn any suggestion that anyone could be enjoying the fact that their site is down.
July 17th, 2006 at 10:28 pm
Furthermore, not on Xrlq’s behalf, I hereby condemn in advance any condemnation that might spring forth on the part of the Greendouchies as a result of their use of naughty words and invective that deserves such condemnation from them….er, us….er, everybody who may or may not have been offended by such harsh words on the part of, um….. Feh.
July 17th, 2006 at 10:39 pm
Sadly, Obsessive!’s online store sells products that say: “Rope, Tree, Conservative. Some Assembly Required.”
Satire? Or scandalously dangerous rhetoric?! Someone ask the CHP (Chief Hygiene Product).
July 17th, 2006 at 11:46 pm
Sadly, No!: OK, so maybe we can’t refute anything you said on the merits, but we can bugger up a summary of what you said and call you a poopyhead. So take that, you poopyhead!
Shorter Xrlq: “My post has merits.”
July 17th, 2006 at 11:55 pm
Shorter Sadly No: I really, really really^4 hate Jeff Goldstein. I hate him infinity plus 13.
And Xrlq, your original fisking was well done. Bookmarked even.
July 17th, 2006 at 11:55 pm
Extra-short SN: “Poopyhead.”
July 18th, 2006 at 12:56 am
Shorter SN: “How’s about paying us for a shirt advocating murder of conservatives?”
July 18th, 2006 at 2:55 am
In the vein of SN:
Shorter Greenwald:
“Rope, Tree, Conservative.” Heh heh. Good one.
“Rope, Tree, Liberal”??!! AN OUTRAGE!
July 18th, 2006 at 3:46 am
Good gracious, why am I even up at this hour?
Shorter SN: “How’s about paying us for a shirt advocating murder of conservatives?”
You’re referring to the shirts we’re not actually selling, in the store which hasn’t even opened yet?
…Because the only way you could have gotten there is via a link that says we’re not selling those shirts.
Patterico, Patterico. That’s the old ‘pretending not to know things’ trick.
Inter alia, the revamped product line includes many winners, including the My Other Car Is Karl Rove’s Anus bumper sticker. In case there are rumors we’re going mainstream, or whatever.
July 18th, 2006 at 5:59 am
You’re referring to the shirts we’re not actually selling, in the store which hasn’t even opened yet?
Well, sure. What does the lack of commerce have to do with your increasingly violent rhetoric? You said it, and that’s very, very, very, very, very dangerous. Just ask GiGi.
MURDERER!
July 18th, 2006 at 6:56 am
Revised Shorter Greenwald:
“Rope, Tree, Conservative, $17.95.” Heh heh. Good one. We know yer just joshin’ ’bout that $17.95.
“Rope, Tree, Liberal, $17.75″??!! AN OUTRAGE! HE REALLY WAS GOING TO CHARGE YOU $17.95!!!!
July 18th, 2006 at 7:03 am
It looks to me like you could check out just fine with one of those shirts that isn’t for sale. Of course, it ain’t worth the $20.00 to test the thesis, but I call bullshit on the “We’re not selling them” claim.
July 18th, 2006 at 8:05 am
So, there I am at the gay bar on 4th, and I see GiGi at the end of the bar. He’s famous, and I’m shy, so I says to the barkeep, “Excuse me. See that douchebag sitting at the end of the bar? I’d like to buy him a drink.”
The barkeep gets offended and says, “This is a nice place. We don’t refer to fellow patrons as ‘douchebags’. If you’ll rephrase your request, I’ll be happy to oblige.”
“Fine, then,” says I. “Please ask that genial man if I can buy him a drink.”
“Certainly, sir.”
Barkeep goes over to GiGi, asks, points to me. GiGi waves. Barkeep comes back.
“Well, what’s he having?” I ask.
“Errrr. Vinegar and water.”
July 18th, 2006 at 9:45 am
“…Because the only way you could have gotten there is via a link that says we’re not selling those shirts.”
I got there from your main web site, by clicking on a link that says: “Store.” There are many items there advocating the murder of conservatives: shirts, coffee cups. I clicked on the shirt. Not seeing the bit about how it’s not for sale.
July 18th, 2006 at 12:06 pm
That’s certainly odd. I get a null page from that link, as usual.
Welp, I guess you got lucky. That design is sure to be a collectors item like the legendary blue elephant Beanie Baby.
Watch what happens next: I’ll go into the store and remove the items, and someone will be like, “They’ve dishonestly altered the evidence!”
July 18th, 2006 at 2:15 pm
I condemn Arnold Schwarzenegger for all the people he killed on screen, the author of “To Kill a Mockingbird,” and Angela Lansbury for starring on a show called “Murder, She Wrote.”
July 18th, 2006 at 2:17 pm
the author of “To Kill a Mockingbird,”
which I assume (using GGreenwald levels of due diligence) I haven’t actually read, but assume is some sort of reference manual
July 18th, 2006 at 4:30 pm
“Watch what happens next: Ill go into the store and remove the items, and someone will be like, Theyve dishonestly altered the evidence!”
Dishonesty? Well, you said I accessed the store through a link saying the items weren’t for sale, and that’s not true. And you implied the store was not accessible, and it was.
But I’m not sure you’ve erased all the evidence. There’s your post where you rolled out the line back on June 1.
How far will you go to cover this up??
July 18th, 2006 at 7:10 pm
[...] From comments over at Xrlq’s place: 15 Patterico Says: July 18th, 2006 at 9:45 am [...]
July 18th, 2006 at 7:42 pm
[...] The Douchettes (Mini-Douches? Douche-blisters? to Queen Gwedolyn’s Super-Douche), on the other hand, did. And Xrlq responded with far more grace than they deserve. [...]
July 18th, 2006 at 8:16 pm
> the author of “To Kill a Mockingbird,” which I assume (using GGreenwald levels of due diligence) I haven’t actually read, but assume is some sort of reference manual
Harper Lee’s classic may have been liberal when it was written (when the fight was between true liberals and reactionaries), but it is now well worth the attention of everyone, especially conservatives (’cause we’re the ones still capable of learning). Those of you who resented it back when it was mandatory in school should look again, too.
“Stand up, Scout, your father’s passin’.”
July 18th, 2006 at 9:08 pm
“Miss Jean Louise, stand up. Your father’s passin’.”
One of the best lines ever penned.
July 18th, 2006 at 9:21 pm
[...] … Ohnoes! I’m pwned! Here’s the hot rumor: all you’ve gotta do is use the word “douche” three more times, and it will suddenly become hilarious! Try it and see! [...]
July 18th, 2006 at 11:41 pm
Okay, here goes: Douche! Douche! Douche!
Comedy gold, I tells ya!
Especially when watching the reactions of the LaDouchies who are exposed to it.
July 19th, 2006 at 12:57 am
There are fools, damn fools, and then there is the Doucheosphere.
July 19th, 2006 at 2:09 am
[...] Actually, the store did exist. I got there by clicking on “store” on the main page for Sadly, No! The link did not say they were not selling the shirts. And I somehow managed to get the screenshot shown above. Other people saw the shirts for sale. As Pablo said at Xrlq’s: It looks to me like you could check out just fine with one of those shirts that isn’t for sale. Of course, it ain’t worth the $20.00 to test the thesis, but I call bullshit on the “We’re not selling them” claim. [...]
July 19th, 2006 at 11:24 am
Go fuck yerself.
July 19th, 2006 at 3:30 pm
Rope, Tree, People…
Some Assembly Required.
Imagine a world without people…
……
July 19th, 2006 at 4:19 pm
ditto redleg
July 19th, 2006 at 8:42 pm
Here they are, in a nutshell (one nutshell per Greendouchie, that is; there’s no telling what kind of hanky panky might could goin’ on if two or more Greendouchies were trapped alone in a nutshell together without adult supervision).
Outstanding line. Had me laughing and snorting at work.
July 20th, 2006 at 12:46 am
[...] Or, to put it in terms that some of my most vocal critics1 can understand, the people who inflated Frisch’s importance in the first place are booger-faced morons, and they stink. See, I’m nowhere near as good at that as he is. [...]