No Problem, I Have Seven More Just Like It, Not Counting Opposable Thumbs
Well, my finger was broken according to schedule. Thank you for not asking why. As a reward for not asking, I’ll let you in on the story now. One of the following is true:
- I owed the mob $50,000 that I didn’t have. Guido told me “either you pay up by October 19, 2006, or Luigi busts your finger. And that’s if he likes you. If he doesn’t, well…” Fortunately, Luigi liked me, so here I am, sans finger but otherwise OK.
- Same as above, but Guido himself cut me a deal, where I could arrange to get my own finger broken on my own time, show him the proof, and not have to deal with Luigi.
- A friend and I were horsing around and took the old “pull my finger” joke one notch too far, and he ended up pulling my finger right off. Inexplicably, I saw this coming earlier in the day, and yet was powerless to stop it.
- Some idiot (that would be me) fractured a bone while breaking up a dog fight, didn’t realize he’d fractured his finger, and allowed the bone to heal improperly. Now it had to be broken again to set the bone right.
- Ever had those days where you wake up thinking something out of the ordinary was going to happen, but not being able to put [what's left of - Ed.] your finger on the reason? Well, today that happened to me. I got up and thought to myself “Gee, I’ll bet I’m going to break a finger today. Damn, I wish I knew how, ‘cuz them maybe I could do something about it. Oh well.” Then, on the way to work I tripped, only to have a lady in stiletto heels step on my left hand, breaking my bird-finger in half. You should have heard that crack sound.
And no, I can’t type worth a damn. Thank you for not asking about that, either.
October 19th, 2006 at 5:00 pm
How bad did the dogs get hurt?
Damn, dude. Sorry to hear about it. Hope it heals well this time!
October 19th, 2006 at 8:40 pm
Didn’t you learn from that whole Air Force One incident that you’re supposed to hose dogs? Sounds like you got hosed instead. Hope you’re all better soon.
It wasn’t that finger, was it?
October 19th, 2006 at 9:03 pm
Oi. Hope you got some good anesthetic. :)
October 20th, 2006 at 10:41 am
There’s no nobler cause for which you could sustain injury, X.
October 21st, 2006 at 9:00 am
Ladies in stiletto heels are always interesting regardless of the circumstances under which you meet them. But as a married man with a brand new second son you could not take advantage of that balm for your broken finger. My commiserations and wishing you a quick recovery.
October 21st, 2006 at 11:31 pm
That Guido. What a softie.
October 23rd, 2006 at 12:15 am
Actually, I don’t believe any of the above. I think he has gotten a contract and advance for a pilot for a sitcom about a lawyer who can’t stay in one place for more than three years, likes guns, pitbulls and SUVs, is married with children, and blogs. Don’t believe me now — just wait until you see it on NBC next season. I’m betting he’ll be played by one of the Baldwin brothers.
October 29th, 2006 at 3:51 pm
I’m betting he’ll be played by one of the Baldwin brothers.
Adam isn’t one of the brothers.
Oops, I may have spilled the beans.