Sometimes I think I’m the only person in the world who longs for the days when annoying telephone voice mail systems told you to press numbers for options rather than asking you to talk to a retarded machine. I’m sure that’s not quite true, but regardless, the trend appears to be spreading. The next logical step is for TV and radio to abolish the 7-second delay, lay off all the professional bleepers, and replace them with a “smart” (meaning, of course, the opposite) computer algorithm to bleep everything out in real time. When that happens, expect to hear stuff like this on the news every day (with strikeout representing what gets bleeped):
- Last week, Japanese prime minister Yasuo
Fukuda and his predecessor, NoboruTakeshita, met with U.S. President GeorgeBushand Vice PresidentDickCheney to discuss their countries’ trade relations. - Insurgent attacks are down in Iraq, but
continue driving the death toll ever higher. - Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bernanke noted that the housing bubble may not yet be over, noting that home prices remain high by historical standards, and that “what comes up, must
go down.“ - Johnny Depp has made his share of good movies,
but Piratesof the Caribbean Part XXXVI is not among them. - Yesterday, Republican Presidential hopeful
Ron Paulexplained to a group of supporters that if you had behaved nicely, the terrorists would not exist.
