I received my absentee ballot on Friday. Here’s how I’m voting, and why.

President and Vice President: John McCain and Sarah Palin. First, losing the war on terror is not an option. Everything else is a distant second. Second, I like the Bill of Rights. Yes, McCain sucks on the First Amendment, but at least he doesn’t try to shut down radio stations or threaten criminal actions against anyone who attacks him. If he did, this blog would have been shut down years before I finally got around to endorsing him myself. Yes, McCain is imperfect on the Second Amendment, but puh-leeze. He’s better on the issue than any other President who has served in my lifetime, and he’s an order of magnitude better than the guy who supported Wilmette’s “right” to persecute a law-abiding citizen for exercising his right to self-defense in violation of an unconstitutional handgun ordinance. Third, I like the rule of law. There’s every reason to believe McCain will appoint judges to the Supreme Court and the Court of Appeals who will apply the law as written rather than make convenient crap up on their own. Obama had two chances to confirm good Supreme Court Justices whose qualifications he himself admitted were beyond dispute. He blew both chances, not just by voting them down for no good reason, but by joining efforts to filibuster them, as well. Forget “ready” to lead; that implies he might be someday. This bastard is congenitally unfit to lead.

Straight Party Voting: Republican. However, I’m voting for the candidates separately to make a point about each. In a nutshell, Southern Democrats were wrong in 1860, and they’re wrong in 2008. [That's not entirely fair, as today's Southern Democrats are generally less wrong than today's non-Southern Democrats, but they're wrong nevertheless.]

U.S. Senate: Elizabeth Dole. My favorite reverse-carpetbagger. I must admit it’s kinda fun to hear Kay Hagan’s supporters try to blame her for the high cost of gasoline. Since, y’know, she supported drilling but too many of her opponents did not, so let’s vote in the opponents, instead.

Congress (Dist. 6): Howard Coble. It’s nice to finally know whose district I live in. Up until now, the League of Women Drivers, or whatever you call a league of women who don’t know what they’re doing, had been telling me I lived in Mel Watt’s district. It’s a relief to know I don’t.

Governor: Pat McCrory. RINO, Schmino. Our tax rate is so-so, but worse than so-so when compared to the states that surround us. And our personal income tax is only marginally better than the one I thought I was getting away from when I fled from the People’s Republic of California to the United States seeking political asylum. This guy favors a limited school voucher program (albeit more limited than what I’d like to see) but more importantly, at least he can friggin’ bring himself to call illegal immigrants illegal. UPDATE: NRA dissents.

Lieutenant Governor: Robert Pittenger, by default.

Attorney General: Bob Crumley, by default. Plus, I haven’t heard Roy Cooper condemn Obama’s bully tactics, and frankly am scared shitless about the prospect of any state having an Attorney General who can’t or won’t. It’s not as though this state is immune to politically motivated criminal prosecutions. UPDATE: NRA dissents.

Auditor: Leslie Merritt, by default.

Commissioner of Agriculture: Steve Troxler, by default.

Commissioner of Insurance: As an attorney for a company that will be regulated by the winner of this race, I’m pleading the Fifth on this one and making my vote secret after all.

Commissioner of Labor: Cherie Berry, by default.

Secretary of State: Jack Sawyer, by default.

Superintendent of Public Instruction: Richard Morgan, by default.

Treasurer: Bill Daughtridge, by double-default. One default because he’s a Republican and so am I (the usual basis of a default vote). The other basis of default is that while some weak-kneed Republicans end up spending like drunken sailors, Democrats spend that way when they’re sober. If Governor McCrory/Perdue tries to spend that way, I want a treasurer that will at least try to talk him/her out of it.

State Senate (Dist. 33): Stan Bingham, by default, but then again, who the hell else was I going to vote for? No one else is on the ballot!

State House (Dist. 80): Jerry Dockham, see above.

County Commissioner: Cathy Dunn, Fred McClure and Larry Potts, by default.

Supreme Court: Bob Edmunds. Judges are the one elected position where I deliberately give incumbents the edge. Even if I didn’t, his challenger, Suzanne Reynolds, is endorsed by NOW and every union in town. There are times when it is appropriate to vote out an incumbent judge, but this ain’t it.

Court of Appeals (1): John Martin. No one else is on the ballot, duh.

Court of Appeals (2): Jewel Ann Farlow. She’s running as a strict constructionist. Her opponent, Jim Wynn, is the incumbent, but his endorsement give pause. If he’s really a fair judge, why would the AFL-CIO or the North Carolina National Organization for Women give a rat’s patoot whether he’s retained or not? And why would President Clinton have tried so hard to get him on the federal bench, over Republican objections? There may well be a legitimate answer to these questions, but I’m not seeing it anywhere.

Court of Appeals (3): Sam Ervin. He’s the incumbent, which works in his favor by default. He’s a Democrat appointee, which doesn’t. However, his opponent has troubling list of endorsements, so I see little reason to rock this particular boat.

Court of Appeals (4): Doug McCullough. He’s the incumbent, with upwards of 700 opinions to his name, so unless anyone can find a really crappy one he wins by default. His opponent, Cheri Beasley, claims endorsements from NOW, AFL-CIO and the North Carolina Academy of Trial Lawyers. Never heard of the last group before, but with a name like that it can’t be good.

Court of Appeals (5): Dan Barrett. AV rated attorney, endorsed by Gov. Martin (the only Republican ever to serve two terms in this state). Admittedly, this one is a thinker, though, as Linda Stephens is the incumbent, and does seem to have a pretty impressive endorsement list of her own. So if you vote for Stephens on the theory that judges should be re-elected unless there’’s a compelling reason not to, I won’t hate you. Not for that, anyway. I reserve the right to hate your guts for any other reason.

Court of Appeals (6): Bob Hunter. He’s endorsed by my Congressman, Howard Coble. His opponent, John Arrowood, is endorsed by NOW, AFL-CIO and the defense attorneys. This being the state where every third citizen’s last name is Nifong, I might be willing to view the defense attorney endorsement as a plus. But NOW and AFL-CIO? I don’t think so.

Superior Court Judge (Dist. 22B): Ted Royster. A judge who owns two rescue dogs and teaches CHP classes in his spare time. What’s not to like? Here’s hoping Mr. Royster a speedy recovery between now and election day.

Soil and Water Conservation District Supervisor: Clarence Loflin. Jeez, I could barely type that title without falling asleep. I’m sure it’s an important job, though, and someone’s got to do it. Since Mr. Loflin was the only person in the whole friggin’ district who could be bothered to throw his hat in the ring, he’s got my vote.

Davidson County Board of Education: Alan Beck, Karen Craver and Allan Thompson. Again, it’s a dirty job but someone’s got to do it. Three people I’ve never heard of applied for three positions, and no one else did, so there you are.