North Carolina General Statute 14-197 makes it a Class 3 misdemeanor to yell cuss words on public streets if two or more people can hear you, unless you happen to be in Pitt or Swain County, where you may cuss to your heart’s content. As with NCGS § 14-177 (crime against nature, a.k.a. sodomy), my first inclination is to say repeal this idiotic law, but in deference to those who have been here much longer than I (this statute dates back to 1913), I’m inclined to offer a helpful amendment, instead:
If any person shall, on any public road or highway and in the hearing of two or more persons, in a loud and boisterous manner, use indecent or profane language, he shall be guilty of a Class 3 misdemeanor, unless at least one of those persons had done something to legitimately piss him off. The following counties shall be exempt from the provisions of this section: Davidson, Davie, Durham, Forsyth, Guilford, Pitt, Randolph, and Swain.
That should pretty well cover all the counties I’ll be in on a regular basis. I don’t plan to go to Durham anytime soon, but if I do, I reserve the right to cuss out anyone and everyone I see, along a public road or otherwise. Not sure what to do about NCGS § 14-196, which makes it illegal to cuss at somebody over the phone. Do I violate that statute every time I cuss on this blog using a DSL connection?