Unless, of course, she took a few too many of these. Either way, it’s good to know that there’s someone out there for everyone.

Which is dumberer?

1. Calling 911 to commit a crime; or
2. Calling 911 to report a crime in progress being committed by … um … you?

Or for Denver, anyway. First they banned the pit bulls. Now they ban anything that meeps.

UPDATE: What a [meep] idiot I am. How the [meep] could I confuse [meep]ing Danvers, MA with [meep]ing Denver, CO? What the [meep]ing [meep]?!

Since I’ve been blogging a lot about family law issues of late, it behooves me to disclose that as of Friday, November 6, Mrs. X and I are officially separated. If/when I discuss any family law issues that affect me differently from anyone else, I shall properly disclose such issues. Otherwise, you may safely assume that everything I say about family law issues in general, or NC family law in particular, is being discussed purely in the abstract. In particular, you can and should assume that:

• The ability of gays to marry in certain states, or their inability to marry or even civil union in others, played no role in the end of my marriage.
• No one is in danger of being sued for alienating my affection toward Mrs. X, or hers toward me.
• Don’t even THINK about criminal conversations, or I’ll smack you. Seriously.
• By contrast, if I rant and rave about NC’s physical separation requirement, the general prohibition on obtaining a divorce anywhere but one’s state of domicile, or the fact that it’s so much easier to get yourself into a marriage than out of one, you can assume that I am arguing from a position which, while sincere, is not entirely disinterested.
• In that vein, if I rant about the truly stupid notion that marriage is a “contract,” you can safely assume that I’m arguing from the position of someone who drafts contracts for a living, who doesn’t practice family law but does know more about it than he ever wanted to, and who knows enough about both areas of law to safely conclude that the twain shall never meet.

I almost never close out comments but will do so in this case. Any regular readers who feel they know me well enough to wish to discuss this matter one-on-one are free to do so by emailing me at xrlq at xrlq dot com, or any other email address I may have given you before (e.g., my-real-first-name at my-real-last-name dot net). I’m not interested in a public discussion on this matter. The separation itself is and was public; the reasons underlying it are not.

Which of the following statements is dumberer?

1. Traditional marriage laws do not discriminate. Gays have the same right to marry members of the opposite sex that straights have.
2. AIDS does not discriminate. Straight men who take it in the butt from other men are just as likely to get AIDS as gay men who take it in the butt from other men.