Candidate Profile: Mary “Mary Carey” Cook
Yes, you’ll have heard it here first, folks. I have caught a candidate for governor in a large lie, not just about themselves, but one that strikes to the very heart of their platform.
The candidate I speak of is Mary Carey, the pornstar for governor. On her campaign website, platform plank #2 reads as follows:
2. Tax breast implants. From Beverly Hills alone, we should bring in millions in tax revenue. (Note: I am all-natural and I personally discourage the use of implants!)
All well and good. Or so we’re lead to believe. Having a hard time believing that her slightly gravity defying, 36DD chest was entirely natural, The Angry Clam took his case to the all-powerful tool of investigative journalists everywhere.
He did a google search for “Mary Carey” “Boob Job.”
The first site that came up was this one (warning: boobies), Mary Carey’s appearance in an apparently weekly feature of the porn industry’s trade magazine, Adult Video News, where a new actress is interviewed and generally promoted. And what do we see here?
Boob Job: “Do I have to answer honestly? Yes.”
There you have it. Mary Carey has lied to the people of California and exposed her hypocrisy on a magnitude similar to Arianna “Greek-born harpy” Huffington’s incessant complaints about corporate tax evasion while she herself paid only $771 in federal taxes even though she lives in an $8 million Brentwood home and has a lucrative writing career.
Mary Carey owes the voters of California, particularly any schmucks who paid $5000 for a dinner date with her, an explanation.
The Clam will keep you “abreast” of this story as it unfolds.
[Cross-posted to T.A.C.]
August 22nd, 2003 at 3:17 pm
Thanks for the mammaries.
August 22nd, 2003 at 3:51 pm
Who let the Clam in? I thought I was wreaking havoc alone this weekend.
August 22nd, 2003 at 4:04 pm
“Who let the Clam in?”
Gee, thanks. Now I’m going to have that annoying song ringing in my head all day.
August 26th, 2003 at 2:05 pm
“WHO LET THE CLAM IN?!!
Clomp
Clomp
Clomp-clomp-clomp”
August 27th, 2003 at 8:32 am
Where did she claim they were natural?
August 27th, 2003 at 8:34 am
I understand now. I guess people like to pick on Arianna.
September 2nd, 2003 at 2:56 pm
And I thought Davis was an incompetent boob.
September 2nd, 2003 at 10:43 pm
Yeah, but at least he’s a 100% natural boob.