Hi, Barack Obama. This is Xrlq 2.0. And he’s my first. So far his talents include hating new food he’s never tried, and chasing after our pit bull. That, and cracking up everyone around him by pretending to choke himself and saying “Why you little…!” in his best Homer Simpson impression. And so, Barack Obama, when you say “yes, we can” can carry North Carolina for the next 100 years, were you counting on Xrlq 2.0’s vote?

Because if you were, you can’t have it.

Baby beep bird bites, boppers boy bug bye. Daddy diaper doggy door eat, eeeew! Hi Jodie juice, kitty light Mommy monkey? Meow! Maddy Molly, more nice night. No orange papa, pop poppy purple. Read, shit, sip shoes tiger. Toys tubby, walk water, Xrlq yummy:

create your own personalized map of the USA or check out our Virginia travel guide

Or, if you prefer, Elliott Yamin’s brush with his biggest smallest fan.

At one end of the spectrum, This judge says fetuses don’t count as “persons” even for such piddly purposes as placating the Transportation Gestapo carpool lanes. At the other, this letter writer thinks fetuses are persons for purposes of the 14th Amendment, and apparently thinks any expectant mother who would abort one must also be a state. In the middle, this humble blogger is a proud father to a fetus, for whom he has yet to come up with a blog-name (the last one having been used by a former fetus, Baby Xrlq, who is no longer a fetus and arguably, no longer a baby either). Any suggestions would be appreciated.

UPDATE: Wanna race?

UPDATE x2: Cool, a Pajamalanche!

UPDATE x3: Michael Williams has more.

Baby X doesn’t have much of a vocabulary yet, but he has mastered the concept of a rhetorical question. Here’s what he told me last week while we were vacationing in Ben-and-Jerry-Land:

Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah? [Shaking head] No! Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah.

Baby X turned 1 today.

Baby X is in that stage where everything goes in his mouth. Right now he’s chewing on On Liberty, by J.S. Mill.

It ought to go without saying that children should not be allowed near pit bulls, but some people need reminding every now and then. Beware that even with adult supervision, allowing a pit bull near a small child may result in the following (WARNING: graphic).

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Baby X flipped me the bird moths ago. More recently, he mastered the Bronx cheer. Now he’s tried his hand at the old “stick your shirt in my face and pretend to blow my nose” gag. Well, almost. He could still use a little practice with the “pretend” part, but the rest, he’s got down pat.

Below are two of the fringe benefits of my new picture/video phone.