This dubious award goes to Neil Jorgensen of Kalona, IA, who managed to get himself fired from the Riverside Casino and Golf Resort by repeatedly requesting a prostitute at the same resort during his stay, and then appearing in the nude when hotel workers went to his room to ask him to stop. Jorgensen’s non-explanation:

The advertisement is that it’s just like Las Vegas, so I thought I was in Las Vegas.

Where, I might add, prostitution is also illegal. Oops.

Ha, ha.

UPDATE: Ha.

From VCDL:

21. Duh - don’t try to rob someone wearing an NRA hat

Heh.

Remainder of article in extended area.
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Ace whole.

First, the good news: apparently, the victim of that horrendous videotaped 2002 beating Matt Drudge exhumed last week (and which I blogged about as well) survived the attack, and is in good enough health to be pissed off about the fact that this video is being broadcast all over the Internet and local TV news. Her injuries included dizziness and some hearing loss, although it’s not clear from the KGO story whether she still has these problems now or if they were temporary following the attack.

Now for the bad news: the Oakland P.D. has been asleep at the switch for three years, and now, according to KRON account, the statute of limitations appears to have run. Or has it?

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Via Drudge, if this apparent snuff filmextreme beating video [caution: do I really have to caution you about a film I already said looks like a snuff film?] is real, I think it’s time we seriously consider wiping Oakland off the map. Given that this isn’t going to happen, perhaps one of you death penalty opponents can explain to me why anyone appearing in the video, including the guy who made it (but excluding the victim, obviously), should be breathing.

UPDATE: Also via Drudge, Oakland cops are unsure about the incident, or if it even took place in Oakland.

UPDATE x2: Cops have determined that it probably did indeed occur in Oakland, but not recently. It was lifted from DVD released in 2002, titled “World’s Wildest Street Fights Volume 1,” and appears to have occurred in a parking lot near the Ice Center on 18th Street, where several other crimes, including at least one homicide, have been known to occur. Cops still don’t know who the victim was, whether she survived the attack, or if so, the extent of her injuries. If you know anything about her call the Oakland P.D. at (510) 238-3821.

UPDATE x3: The victim, who does not wish to be identified, has contacted the police.

For years, Santa Clara County Superior Court Judge William Danser routinely dismissed traffic tickets of celebrities. Now, that bastard’s going to jail, under house arrest, and the celebrities he helped are facing criminal investigations far more serious than the ones he dismissed.

UPDATE: Apparently, according to two commenters he may NOT be going to jail. Too bad. At least he won’t be a judge anymore.

LATE UPDATE (10/19/04): Reader Hugh McManus reports that Danser has had another brush with the law, this time for DUI, where the cops drove him home rather than press charges. Nice. Maybe he is above the law, after all.