Hi, Barack Obama. This is Xrlq 2.0. And he’s my first. So far his talents include hating new food he’s never tried, and chasing after our pit bull. That, and cracking up everyone around him by pretending to choke himself and saying “Why you little…!” in his best Homer Simpson impression. And so, Barack Obama, when you say “yes, we can” can carry North Carolina for the next 100 years, were you counting on Xrlq 2.0’s vote?

Because if you were, you can’t have it.

You’d think that after Heller, I’d be giddy about the Subprime Court. Sorry, not happening. Heller itself should have been the easiest case in the world to decide, right up there with determining that the First Amendment gives the people a right to speak freely, the Fifth guarantees a right not to have private property taken to be given away to other private parties and prohibits the states from discriminating by race, or at least as easy as deciding that the Constitution doesn’t say anything about abortion, sodomy, contraception, execution of 17 year old thrill killers who murder innocent neighbors for fun because they know they are minors, hard-core pedophiles who only ruin their victims’ lives figuratively rather than literally, or habeas rights for non-citizen terrorists. Have I missed anybody? Probably.

Four years ago countless pro-gun conservative or bloggers rooted for President Bush’s defeat, figuring that if we can’t elect a model conservative to the Oval Office, we might as well give up the reins entirely. Now, in the past week, we came one Supremer Court Justice’s vote shy of seeing the bill of Rights literally decimated. [Some argue that it was already decimated when McCain-Feingold was upheld 5-4. Perhaps so, but we also made significant headway in reversing that dreadful precedent, thanks again in no small part to Bush appointees Roberts and Alito. Now we have one candidate who promises to appoint more Robertses and Alitos, vs. a guy who voted against confirming either of them, and even joined a filibuster against one, and who promises to appoint judges with big hearts instead. Conservatives can either vote for McCain, and fear he may be lying, or they can vote for Obama and hope to God he is. If, for some reason, you still can’t get the picture, here it is:

JJV has coined an amusing name for Chris Dodd, Kent Conrad, Alphonso Jackson, Donna Shalala, Richard Holbrooke and James Johnson: the “Subprime Six.” It has a nice ring to it, and just like the Keating 5, all but one are Democrats. Plus, seven being a prime number, it follows that six, being lower, is a subprime one.

The analogy is not perfect, however. For one thing, while two of the Keating 5 were ultimately cleared of wrongdoing, it’s hard to see how any of today’s 6 could be. For another, all five of the Keating 5, whether ultimately found to have engaged in wrongdoing or not, did at least have a common thread of having met Charles Keating. By contrast, I find it doubtful that any of the ultra-privileged souls JJV describes as “subprime” have ever had the misfortune of watching subprime-time TV or eating subprime rib, let alone having to make payments on a subprime mortgage. Quite the opposite, in fact.

[Full disclosure: I am a former employee of an insurance subsidiary of the lender at the center of this controversy. I am not now, nor have I ever been, a Friend Of Angelo, whom I met only briefly on one occasion, and who almost certainly would not recognize me on the street today.]

Below the fold is a simple question for Barack Obama and everyone else who insists that “we can’t drill our way out of the problem” of skyrocketing gas prices.
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Barack Obama’s Fight With Smears site sez:

Lie:
On May 30th, Rush Limbaugh said he had heard a rumor that a tape exists of Michelle Obama using the word “Whitey” from the pulpit of Trinity United Church of Christ.

Truth:
No such tape exists. Michelle Obama has not spoken from the pulpit at Trinity and has not used that word.

So according to Mr. Hope/Change, merely mentioning that you’ve heard a rumor makes you a liar if the rumor itself isn’t true. I’ve heard rumors that the CIA invented crack and 9/11 was an inside job. Does that make me a liar, too?

Worse, the Obama campaign lies outright on the front page:

LIE: Rush Limbaugh says a tape exists of Michelle Obama using the word “whitey” from the pulpit of Trinity United

Yup, that is a lie all right. Limbaugh never said any such thing.

Mike Huckabee gave an OK speech during today’s luncheon. He had a few amusing lines, such as the one about having to make a corkscrew landing at CLT and exit the plane under sniper fire, and an entertaining story about how he became a Republican back in the days when there weren’t any. he also made some good substantive points about how it’s neat that a black man can be either party’s nominee for President, but it would be neater still if this particular one doesn’t win since his policies are horrible. Two cheers for that.

I’m withholding the third because Huckabee also spent time excusing big government, which he seems to see more as a symptom of (or worse, a rational and necessary response to) some kind of cultural malaise, rather than as a problem in its own right. He went on to compare his own mythical “Hucktown,” where no one drinks, divorces, does drugs, steals stuff, etc., and therefore no government is needed, to a more realistic “Scotttown” (named after the guy who had introduced him) where these things happen all the time. The message, in a nutshell, was “if you had behaved nicely, the Communists wouldn’t exist.” Feh.

UPDATE: On the other hand, four cheers for Huckabee for performing the Heimlich on Lt. Gov. candidate Robert Pittenger, and a fifth for not saying a word about it. Presumably, anyone with a front row seat saw who revived whom, but the rest of us didn’t (I was near the back, so all I heard was “Is there a doctor in the house?” followed by “everyone’s fine”).

John Hawkins has a pair of confused posts in which he claims he can no longer support John McCain’s candidacy because McCain “lied” about his newfound respect for the need to secure the border before introducing any de facto amnesty programs for those already here. This would be interesting if McCain had actually come out and said “screw border security, amnesty away!” What he actually said was a bit more … um … subtle than that:

He added: “I believe we have to secure our borders, and I think most Americans agree with that, because it’s a matter of national security. But we must enact comprehensive immigration reform. We must make it a top agenda item if we don’t do it before, and we probably won’t, a little straight talk, as of January 2009.”

Mr. McCain asked others on the panels for suggestions about how to “better mobilize American public opinion” behind the notion of comprehensive immigration reform.

In other words, candidate McCain has flipped alll the way from “Yes, I favor comprehensive immigration reform but we need to secure the border first” to “Yes, we need to secure the border first, but I favor comprehensive immigration reform.” Lest his readers mistake this for a distinction sans difference, Hawkins non-explains:
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Rumor has it that John McCain has whittled his list of potential running-mates down to three. If the rumors are correct (or more precisely, if the inferences are correct that McCain’s inviting these three to choose a running mate between them), then we have two reasons to rejoice:

1. Bobby Jindal is among them.
2. Mike (P)huckabee isn’t.

All ballots should give voters the option of either voting for their favorite candidate or against their least-favorite. Every vote against a candidate cancels out one vote for that candidate. If no candidate garners a majority of the net positive votes, a run-off will be held among the candidates who ended up with positive vote totals.

Discuss.

Time to pay up. I knew Cali had gone loopy but did not know they’d gone that loopy. Oh well, at least this time it happened in a state that allows citizens to vote on stuff. Still, the best was on how the court would rule, not what the ultimate outcome would be, so if Mythago is reading this, I owe $100 to a charity of your choice.

Next time I’ll stick to betting Uncle a beer against outcomes I favor. That way I’m guaranteed to win.