I spent the past weekend in Connecticut, courtesy^* of Delta Airlines, which thinks Atlanta is on the way from everything to everything else. On Friday I flew from Greensboro (GSO) to Atlanta (ATL), and from ATL to New York LaGuardia (LGA). On Sunday, I returned from New York JFK to ATL, and from ATL back to GSO. Today I received credit for my frequent flyer miles from Continental, which is still partnering with Delta but not for long. Credit was as follows:

Note that Flights 5099 (GSO-ATL) and 6474 (ATL-GSO) both have the same number of miles: 306. That kinda makes sense since you’d figure that Greensboro is the same distance from Atlanta as Atlanta is from Greensboro. Now compare the mileage credit for Flight 18 (ATL-LGA) vs. 1499 (JFK-ATL). Possible explanations:

1. JFK is 381 miles from LGA.
2. The pilot on Flight 18 took a really circuitous route to NY, but the pilot on Flight 1499 took a more sensible one.
3. The business class section of the plane travels 381 miles farther than coach.
4. ???

^*As compensation for last year’s disaster, this flight would have been free if I hadn’t originally booked it for this coming weekend and then had to re-book. As it was, it was very cheap, and I was allowed to check a bag for free since I had technically “bought” the ticket a year ago. And taking the free flight got me just enough miles on Continental to qualify for another free flight. Cool, eh?

We got back from the Bahamas last night. I may have more later, but here are a few quick observations:

1. Yes, they really do talk like that. No, they’re not kidding.
2. Don’t drink the water.
3. Don’t even think of drinking the coffee.
4. Everyone drives on the wrong side of the road, but the driver does not sit on the wrong side of the car.
5. The beaches are lovely for small children, but will likely disappoint avid surfers.
6. Cable Beach is on the north coast, meaning that the sun and the water are in opposite directions. This is good if you consider controlled skin damage, a.k.a. tanning, to be a bug. It’s bad if you consider it a feature.
7. Atlantis, where we visited for an hour or so, is a class act.
8. The Radisson, where we stayed, is not.
9. Stuart Cove’s is awesome. Worth booking in advance if you want to do the fancy stuff.
10. Bahamian Christmas carols are wrong. They’re just wrong.

Thanks to Cardinal Martini for holding down the fort. Be sure to visit his blog soon.

UPDATE: If you’re jealous, don’t be.  You too can spend a couple of days there, for considerably less than it cost us.  The only down side to this offer is that instead of getting to fly with a near-bankrupt dinosaur airline that squeezes you into a tin can like a sardine, requires you to pay for the most basic snacks, and bombards you with obnoxious propaganda about the evils of free enterprise, you’ll have to settle for a newer, profitable airline with more legroom, free snacks and your own mini-TV.

Looks like I picked a totally crappy time to fly to Texas. The only saving grace is that we won’t be staying anywhere near Houston. My guess is that by the time it reaches Dallas, Hurricane Rita will have been downgraded and renamed Sucky Weather Rita. One would hope, anyway.

UPDATE: As it turns out, even Sucky Weather Rita didn’t live up to her name. All she got us was a little drizzle, a more moderate temperature, and some winds that are wimpy compared to what we got in California just the other day.

In Europe, if you have a nice car you can go from Petting to Fucking in just 40 minutes. Not recommended on buses, however, and don’t even think of trying it on a train.