We got back from the Bahamas last night. I may have more later, but here are a few quick observations:

1. Yes, they really do talk like that. No, they’re not kidding.
2. Don’t drink the water.
3. Don’t even think of drinking the coffee.
4. Everyone drives on the wrong side of the road, but the driver does not sit on the wrong side of the car.
5. The beaches are lovely for small children, but will likely disappoint avid surfers.
6. Cable Beach is on the north coast, meaning that the sun and the water are in opposite directions. This is good if you consider controlled skin damage, a.k.a. tanning, to be a bug. It’s bad if you consider it a feature.
7. Atlantis, where we visited for an hour or so, is a class act.
8. The Radisson, where we stayed, is not.
9. Stuart Cove’s is awesome. Worth booking in advance if you want to do the fancy stuff.
10. Bahamian Christmas carols are wrong. They’re just wrong.

Thanks to Cardinal Martini for holding down the fort. Be sure to visit his blog soon.

UPDATE: If you’re jealous, don’t be.  You too can spend a couple of days there, for considerably less than it cost us.  The only down side to this offer is that instead of getting to fly with a near-bankrupt dinosaur airline that squeezes you into a tin can like a sardine, requires you to pay for the most basic snacks, and bombards you with obnoxious propaganda about the evils of free enterprise, you’ll have to settle for a newer, profitable airline with more legroom, free snacks and your own mini-TV.

Looks like I picked a totally crappy time to fly to Texas. The only saving grace is that we won’t be staying anywhere near Houston. My guess is that by the time it reaches Dallas, Hurricane Rita will have been downgraded and renamed Sucky Weather Rita. One would hope, anyway.

UPDATE: As it turns out, even Sucky Weather Rita didn’t live up to her name. All she got us was a little drizzle, a more moderate temperature, and some winds that are wimpy compared to what we got in California just the other day.

In Europe, if you have a nice car you can go from Petting to Fucking in just 40 minutes. Not recommended on buses, however, and don’t even think of trying it on a train.